Joyce's Site

@iyox.. this mid yr examination results had score the worest in my whole education life i had been through... i had failed most of my subjects with borderline and passed with boderline marks too.. Haix.. such a sad and horrible thing to happen * BoO hOo* i felt very angry n disappointed of myself.. how can i score with this yucky results leh??? is a "NONO".. but i felt that the only thing i could blamed was myself.. +_ ME MYSELF n I_+ becos i shld last minutes revision.. this mid yr i had started preparing 1 week b4.. n i m not focus n working that hard... so the only problem is myself.. the thing i m disappointed was that even though i study until late at nite till 4am , at least can i passed with more marks anot.. haix..thats when i saw my horrible results b4 my campfire .. my mood was totally down.. * darks thunderstrom had begining to form around me* i could hardly smile or start a conversation with anyone.. becos i felt that the whole world had crushed onto me that i could hardly breath..

_+_ Suddenly a feeling had occured_+_

this kind of results cannot go on anymore n i would not allow it to happen anymore..  becos or else i m in the position of no where.. i need to b someone.. n i mean SOMEONE in the society.. actually i m a career minded person.. i want to b sucessful in my future career.. as wad my bro say to me.. surviving in this education world needs to go through many terminals.. i m standing in a cross juntion..i must decided where i want to head to..it all depends on my decision that i had to bare the consequences in future.. all this things such as advise, results n my own goals had really hit hard on me manx.. so i had already swear to god n to myself that i had to work hard n stop all the nonsence n entertainment for this period of time until my Os lvl over.. this i had promised to god n to myself so i had to fufill it no matter how diffcult it was in the begining.. although how hard the road i had to go through but it will finally end one day.. Determind, consistance, self-confidence n diligent is the main key for this situation.. this whole things is truely came frm the bottom of my heart.. because i do not wanted to disappoint my parents, me n my hubby.. i working towards this goal that i had already set in my mind.. *jia you*

2day is my sch funfair.. after so many weeks of preparation.. finally my class 5n1 came out 2 stalls of " sanaka catch" and the " orion cushions n etc" ...wowx.. finally can c unity frm my class again after so my exams... my class is always so united n together as one.. becos we had been classmates for 5 yrs le.. of cos very close la..

all of us arrived in sch early in the morning around 7am for the last preparation.. wowx.. 2day very extremely busy siax.. i , laycheng, jieli, meiting, huiling, li ting, yulin n etc.. keep making the fish paper net that is uncountable manx ...until we had fear of making the nets anymore....den i also went to do the counter job .. aiyox.. so many ppl until i unable to manage it man.. 2day funfair we had such a great fun n experience.. most of the past yr ex bendemeerian had came back to visit us.. heex.. miz them siax.. den 5n2 got a game that is water tank game.. den we had sabo alot of ppl fall into the water .. such as (my principle)  mrs rati, ( DM) mr kwok, some of my 5n2 classmates and afew teachers.. hahax..den mrs tan meng juat 's nephew very ah ka liao with me de.. hahax.. but overall , it is such a great day to have...  

after the day i angry of my hubby .. i think he had sense it.. at first he say tat he will not b able to call me for the next 4days but LOLX.. at the end few hours later he called back n "hong " me.. becos he know tat i m angry abt the gals that pestering him.. den he say tat he will b calling me on monday becos his mum wanna to use the phone n becos he had used uncountable number of oversea card to call me for the past 3 months plus bahx.. so his mum started to nag at him..although his mum always nag at him once he use the phone but he always had his ways to call me no matter wad.... but at the end as wad i expected he still called me 2day.. he keep explaining n hope that i was not angry abt it as he feel hurt when i m sad.. but at the end i still forgive him.. And when he say " i love you " and all the mushy stuff..as my experience of so many boys.. i know that he serious abt it and he really mean it.. as i nv heard his tone so seriously b4.. becos everytime when i chat with hubby on the phone he will always very bubbly n joking around with me..

may b becos he is now at oversea for a long period of time i might feel unsecure bahx.. but as his lao po i must believe him and wait for him de.. i will try my best de.. love you deary

Aiyox ! ~  " what happen to me 2day ? " hmmx.. my mood change within seconds that is unpredictable.. i also dont know y ???

 since my hubby went to New zealand that day ... i started to worry of many things.. such as  when is he coming back to spore, the gals pestering him , his health condition and alot more.................when i heard that got quite afew gals there likes him n even propose to him... do u know how angry,  jealous n wadever complicated feelings occuring in my heart n mind... i know that hubby got his limit n distance with them..n i had already control myself n try to forgive n forget althought i know its not my hubby fault......... but tell u frankly that i really hate it to the core OKAY!~  there is a limit in my temper hor.. i don think i will b able to control myself to hear this idoit things any longer .. i do not wanna to limit ur frens circle but i jus hate when they r too close to u and their frens even try to match mate n they even thought u r couple.. THEY TREAT ME TRANSPARENT IZZIT ? if i m there in new zealand now i tell u will scold them off ok.. as u all should know tat i seldom so so so so damn angry ....  or else don make me to do the cruel decision that i do not want to .............................. but i will try my best not to... i know u loved me alot.. but i do mind abt how i really feel.. i do not want to ill treat myself n control temper with all that nonsense... becos i do not want to have a feeling that i m sharing my hubby with other ppl...  hubby u should know me very well ... n think u should think abt it n know wad to do without i saying again.. sorry for the hush words n tone.. i don mean it....

YOx... ~ * I m back *~  wowx.. so fast 1 week plus had past since i had jus wrote my last post.. hmmx.. ArGgH~ this period of hard time with exams comin up non-stop.. hmmx.. eng 1 & 2, chinese 1 & 2, math 1 , Chem 2, phy 2, Math 1 , geo , social studies, PoA 1 & 2 ... now left the FnN , math 2 and phy n chem MCQs.. hahax.. but overall i felt that i did quite well this time in a few subjects becos i felt confident in it.. but hor.. my POA ar... hopeless heex.. in another few more days of endure .. i can relax for awhile.. n later i still need to study hard for my chinese as my  " O -Level Chinese June paper " will b on at end of the of may .. 

 *~*~ God bless me to score well in all examination with wisdom,Luck,diligent and faith !~!~! *~*~

hmmx.. i dont think i will be able to write the journals too often le.. because on wedesday 4/5/05 will be my first paper of the mid yr examination.. until 16/5/05 and my last paper will be on the 27/6/05... but i will try my best to find some time to write bahx.. hmmx.. i m really extremely worried about this mid yr examinations.. becos due to my previous test results .. i had score very badly... haix.. but i will try my best to brush up the last minute work.. but i swear that i wont do anymore last minute revision le.. after my mid yr i will study all the way to the last day of the O lvl..

i WilL b BaCk SoOn... To b CoNtInUeD.......

As those who knows me.. will sure knows that i seldom say mushy stuff to them.. but i prove them wrong becos of " U".. As i know that now we r having a long distance relationship as u r in wellington and i m in singapore.. although this is where our position are now.. but as u know me very well that i would not change my love for u.. i jus wanna let u know that you really mean alot to me as it is unexplainable ..don worry for the unsecure misunderstanding.. becos u need not to worry as " i feel secure, becos u prove to me the love you had for me.. " i had no worries abt ur circle of frens n those hor~ admirers of yours la.. becos i know that u have ur limits .. i m touched that you had gave me alot of trust, love, faith.. i know u had really put in alot in this relationship.. Since i m with u, i notice that i had change alot alot..  but the only thing i worry is abt ur health.. i will try my best to get back this relationship if it have any problems.. but luckily don have la.. 

Lao gong : " you r the most important to me in my life,  you r already part of my heart that no one can replace it.. although we had faced alot of difficulties but as we promised each other that we must b strong to solve all barriers right? n to have a family of our own n 4 kids hor.. i still remember , i wont forget n i will fufill .. as i promise you.. becos  " i love you one n only, jason tan wei jie my hubby.. " no worries or etc.. as u r my everything n i m yours.. our love is strong without any doubt.. so you also must b strong n confident .. okay~  love ya..Muack..

call me when u saw this post.. thanks ( ben lee) pls inform him..

2day 19/4/05 is my 9th months anniversary with my dearest lao gong wor~ ! this is my longest relationship i ever had.. since last time until now we haven quarrel for more den half a day.. n i believe that our relationship can go even longer n forever ... as both of us understand each others weakness, charactors, temper , favourite and etc.. n we do have faith , love , believe and understanding for each other.. I do believe in love at first sight , as it had happened to me now.. its very rare to find this miracle but i manage to find it.. like a drip of water that had fall into the wide ocean.. i m really very lucky to find this " Hao hao xian sheng wor" he is my dream guy that i m pursing for in my whole life.. n it had finally found him.. " MY CHARMING PRINCE" heex.. He is totally different compare to my ex steads..   *if u wanna to test whether the person is true to u , the only way is the feelings* becos feelings cant be wrong.. becos it came frm the heart... so most of my relationship depends on my feelings.. when the time comes u could not hide.. 

-=- LAO GONG -=- happy 9th month anniversary wor~! Ai Qing chang chun.. love ya always darling.. Muack~  

Aiyox.. wad a white lies.. he didnt have the operation, he say he jus went to check up and the doctor say that his injured portion near the chest is unswollen le.. but still need to see the progress .. but he still need to take medication to control his condition.. haix.. i know his intention is gd as he didnt want me to worry too much.. but i m his lao po how can i don worry rite ? hmmx..but hope that " God" is with him all the time to protect him..

Yeah~ <_ GoOd NeWs_> heex.. my laogong have a sucessful operation..becos he had called me jus now at 9.30pm plus to inform me as he jus woke up few hours ago..i was so so so happy n touched about this gd news.. that i suddenly cried..BOOHOO~ *- i would like to thanks to the " GODs.." that had protect n bless my laogong.. _+ Finally+_ " xing li de da shi tuo , ke yi fang xia le.. " at last i don had to worry to much abt him liaox.. becos he can finally recovered in afew months time.. den can come back to spore to b with me le.. YEAH~

Lao gong : laopo n 4 xiao bao bao will b right here waiting for u wor.. must recovered as soon as possible wor.. n take care of urself ok.. don don exercise first ok.. must b guai hor.. or else hor.. laopo beat butt side hor.. laogong don worry no matter wad laopo will always b by ur side through thick n thins.. as i love you always.. Muack

hmmx.. i m very happy that lao gong had make a call to me after my post.. but i need to thanks his fren " ben lee" i think.. hahax.. " hey~ thanks for updating my laogong wor.. i really grateful for the effort u had made for ur friendship between jason wor.." he is lucky to have you as his fren.. but this things i really need u to help me to remind jason everytime is " the love between us is stronger each day , my love for u will never change, no matter what problems that we might faced in the upcoming days.. we must b strong to b with each other always.. i will work hard n sacrifice anything for the sake of our love.. as our love means everything to me..the one word that i promise u is " I lOvE lAo GonG aLwAys~! "

For all those times you stood by me

For all the truth that you made me see

For all the joy you brought to my life

For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true

For all the love I found in you

I'll be forever thankful baby

You're the one who held me up Never let me fall

You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength whenI was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly

You touched my hand I could touch the sky

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me

You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall I had your love I had it all

I'm grateful for each day you gave me Maybe I don't know that much

But I know this much is true

I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me

The tender wind that carried me

A light in the dark shining your love into my life

You've been my inspiration

Through the lies you were the truth

My world is a better place because of you

Aiyox.. 2day actually i plan to do my Food and nutrients O lvl project.. but when i typed finish one of my topic, n decided to save it.. i realised that i forgot to bring back my diskette becos i left in sch during my lessons on wedesday..den i need to go back to sch tml to take the diskette lor.. hope that the office ppl allow to help me to open the com lab wor... AIyox.. Y i getting so blur leh ????? may b being stress by many things bahx..recenlty , i m busy with all the homeworks n revision ... den sad about my common test results becos i didnt done well.. esp. math n science.. HOW ? this 2 subjects are the most critical subjects leh.. tats y i went to find tution for that 2 subjects, hope that they could guide me ..den time flies so fast .. now goin to b April liaox.. april 29 is the mid yr.. den may is the chinese O lvl paper and orals , den july is the prelims, O lvl at nov.. EXAMS EXAMS EXAMS.... after exams also need to worry for results.. aiyox.. need to b worried n stress all the time.. but no matter wad.. i promise my dar dar n myself to work hard for my future.. i also promise him to study hard n try to score well or improve my marks .. i m working towards this goals for this yr.. * JIA YOU , GERL U CAN MAKE IT DE~! BELIEVE IN UR SELF N O + PUT IN EFFORT* ^ GOD BLESS* AMEN

 hmmx..2day sch dismissed at 11.30am as a celebration for the last yr express gd results.. but hor.. i nv go sch 2day lor.. hahax.. absent myself..yesterday nv slp well den 2day only got 2hrs of lessons of math n poa.. so naughty lor.. decided not to go lorx.. may b lazy bahx.. hmmx.. duno whether will get scolding by my form teacher anot ?  later goin to ask meiting abt it le.. but anyway the most ask my mum to write a excuse letter lorx..  den i think for tis few days i don think i wanna to go out.. as i got LOADS of work to do..aiyox.i think i goin to have a terrible headach wor.. but i must endure wor.. another few more months i goin to graduate frm this sch le.. so now must have  " xian ku huo tian " becos all of my frens had felt that this yr times flies really damn fast..

i decided not to do :

+ stop all MSN online chat until my examination over...

+ reduce the amount of times goin out for entertainment..

+ Reduce watching of television show..

+ stop slacking

 what i must do frm now onwards:

+ have a regular study plan ( be more organise in time)

+ consistance of hardwork ( do all homework n revision regularly)

+ have the right and positive attutide n mindset of problems faced in the future(Jiayou)

+ work hard toward my goal ( must know what i want in future life)

+ Balance all kinds of relationship.. ( try not to neglect friends, family n love ones)

+ use computers for necessary useage.. ( don go any other websites except it is necessary , check emails and write daily journals )

+ take care of own's health.. ( to b alert ~! in lessons )